For many of us, a tear or two after orgasms is nothing to be ashamed of. But if it happens regularly, you may need to seek help from a therapist or sex therapist.
Sadness after sex is actually more common than you think. Here are some of the reasons why you might feel down after sex: 1. Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD):
Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD)
Many people find it difficult to understand why they feel sad after sex. It can be jarring, especially since most sexual experiences are highly enjoyable and consensual. But, as a 2015 study found, feeling sad after sex is actually more common than you might think. Specifically, 46% of respondents reported feeling this way.
The reason behind this is unknown, but researchers have some ideas as to what might be causing it. For example, a surge of dopamine and serotonin (feel good hormones) as well as oxytocin (bonding hormone) occurs during and immediately after sexual activity. This creates a biological high, much like a sugar rush followed by a crash. Those feelings may then dissipate, leaving the person feeling down after sex.
In addition, PCD is more likely to occur in those who have a history of sexual trauma or other underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, or postnatal depression. In fact, these underlying issues can turn a great sexual experience into feelings of doubt and sadness that may linger for days or even weeks.
If you have been struggling to cope with these feelings or have noticed that they are getting worse, it could be a good time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you sort out your thoughts and feelings, and they can help you find ways to cope with and lessen the effects of PCD.
Lack of Emotional Connection
Despite the fact that sex is often portrayed in popular culture as an overwhelming positive experience, there are some people who feel sad after sex. The shame of this can be hard to face because it seems to imply that something is wrong with you, especially since everyone else seems to enjoy it so much.
If you are feeling sad after sex, it may be because you don’t feel like you and your partner are connecting emotionally. Maybe you don’t get enough pillow talk, or perhaps your partner doesn’t listen to you or cares about what you want from them. If this is a consistent problem, it’s important to communicate and find resolution. A couples counselor or sex therapist can help.
Sometimes, feelings of sadness after sex are caused by unresolved issues in the relationship. This can be a result of things like sexual trauma, childhood sexual abuse, or unresolved emotional attachment. These issues can be hard to face and discuss, but it’s important to try because ignoring them will lead to problems in the long run. A sex therapist or counselor can help you work through these issues so that you can have more satisfying and fulfilling sex. A therapist can help you learn how to have more pleasurable sexual experiences and to talk about your emotions with your partner.
The body is flooded with hormones during arousal and orgasm, which can cause feelings of sadness, melancholy, or depression. This is a phenomenon known as postcoital dysphoria, and it can affect men and women alike. It can last for a few minutes to hours and can occur with or without an orgasm. It is not unusual to feel sad after sex, but it can be uncomfortable for some people.
If you’re experiencing post-sex depression, it’s likely because of underlying issues that don’t have to do with your relationship or your sex life. It could be something as simple as a low self-esteem, which can make you feel unattractive or worthless and can trigger negative emotions during and after sex. You might also be suffering from unresolved trauma or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) if you have been sexually assaulted in the past. PTSD can lead to feelings of fear and vulnerability, which can then translate into your sex life.
One psychiatrist in New York once did an experiment after discovering that many of his patients felt intense depression after sex. He gave them Prozac, and their depression faded, which suggests that in some cases sex depression can be a neurobiological problem. The good news is that most sex depression can be resolved with therapy. The sooner you start working on it, the better.
Strict Religious Upbringing
Being raised in a strict religious environment can cause many people to feel melancholy after sex. The problem is that they associate their sexuality with shame. They are unable to express their feelings and instead have to lie to themselves. For example, if your parents forbid you to have sex but your hormones are screaming for it, you might binge-watch over-sexed pop culture or pray together with your mother. While Oxford biologist Richard Dawkins compared such an upbringing to child abuse, on average, religious parents do provide their children with important health behaviors and psychological well-being benefits. This is especially true for women.