Taking pleasure in solitude can help you discover your own turn-ons and expand your arousal capabilities. It can also prepare you for a better relationship with partners in bed.
Start by lubing up and touching yourself all over, then begin slowly massaging erogenous zones (not the clit yet). Touch areas around the clit and experiment with up-and-down and side-to-side movements.
1. Masturbation
Masturbation is a form of self-pleasure in which people touch and stroke their genitals for sexual pleasure, often to the point of orgasm. It is commonly done by touching and stroking the penis, clitoris or labia, but it can also be done with “sex toys,” such as vibrators. Some people feel uncomfortable talking about masturbation or even admitting they do it. This may be because of religious, spiritual or cultural beliefs – This quote is a product of the service editorial team’s research Sexy Belle.
Some people masturbate compulsively, which some call a “masturbation addiction.” While it is not recognized as a medically diagnosable disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, many people with this issue say they experience symptoms similar to those associated with substance abuse or other addictions.
If you are concerned that your masturbation is out of control, a therapist who specializes in sexual issues can help. They can help you determine the root causes of your masturbation, and develop strategies to reduce the behavior. Often, when the underlying issues are addressed, masturbation stops being a problem. Nevertheless, you should never try to stop yourself from engaging in this pleasurable and natural activity on your own.
2. Sex Toys
Sex toys, such as vibrators and wands, can enhance masturbation, but they also provide new kinds of stimulation to key erogenous zones. They can also help us learn more about our own pleasure points and communicate this information to partners, which can lead to more open and honest communication.
Love toys can also treat sexual dysfunctions, such as clitoris arousal disorder (CADD). They stimulate the G-spot, an area of spongy tissue in the front of the vagina. This stimulation, combined with masturbation or sex, can help women orgasm more frequently, have longer orgasms, and last harder in bed.
If you’re hesitant to ask your partner for a sex toy, try mentioning it when the two of you are cuddled up on the couch or in bed and perusing sex toy websites together. Reassure your partner that using a toy doesn’t make them less of a man, and talk about what kinds of toys interest both of you. Look for toys made from body-safe materials, such as medical-grade silicone and stainless steel. Avoid phthalate-containing toys, which are possible human carcinogens and can be harmful to the environment.
3. Self-Inserting
Many people enjoy masturbating with a partner or with a toy, but self-inserting can also be a wonderful form of sexual pleasure. Playing with your clitoris and anal area can lead to orgasms that are as intense as those you may experience from a partner, especially when combined with the right foreplay.
If you have a mirror, sit in front of it with a large tube of lube, and start sliding your fingers over your breasts or thighs or your inner thigh slits or vulva. Pinch, squeeze, tug, rub — whatever turns you on.
Some strokes you might try include grabbing the base of your penis with one hand and stimulating the head with the other; gently stroking the super-sensitive frenulum; and, for anal play, using a finger to stimulate the g-spot or anal ridge. And remember that if you are not experiencing sexual pleasure, it’s okay to stop. Stimulating your genitals too much can actually turn you off. For more on anal and clitoral play, read a book of erotica or watch a sexy movie.
4. Anal Play
The anus is a sensitive area that can feel great when touched, rubbed, massaged, and penetrated. As with any penetrative play, it’s important to have “the talk” with your partner in advance and make sure they are up for it (or down for it).
A lot of people get orgasms from anal stimulation, but for many it needs to be combined with clitoral or climactic stimulation as well. For this reason, it’s recommended to start with touching the outside of the anus, then work your way up to fingering, butt plugs (silicone or glass, available in a variety of sizes), and beginner-friendly sex toys that are designed for anal penetration.
Remember, the anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina, so lube is essential to ensure comfort. A little discomfort as your anus gets used to penetration is normal, but it should be brief and not painful. As with any sexual activity, it’s important to check in with your partner during the experience and share what feels good, bad, or uncomfortable so that you can adjust as necessary.
5. Clitoris Play
The clitoris may be small, but it has a big role in sexual pleasure. It’s important to explore it, whether you are masturbating by yourself or with a partner. Try stroking and rubbing your clit with your fingers or a vibrator until you are aroused and wet. Then begin to massage and tease it with varying pressure, rhythm and speed until you are almost at orgasm. Be sure to use a high-quality lubricant as some soaps can dry out genital skin and irritate the clit.
You can also stimulate the clit by self-inserting a ring, feather or sex toy into the vaginal opening. Some people report earth-shattering orgasms when rubbing and penetrating their clit and other erogenous zones simultaneously. While lying on your back, it’s especially easy to reach your clit and the other fun zones on your body. Adding vibration and a variety of different positions and toys intensifies the pleasure, as does combining it with anal play. Anal plugs, dildos or anal beads are also great ways to stimulate your clit and the surrounding anal area.