We all know how difficult it can be to relax during sex. From household chores to running errands, our lives are full of demands that can make it hard to focus on pleasure and intimacy.
If you find your mind wandering during sex, talk to your partner(s) about it. This will help to normalize the nervous thoughts and make it easier to refocus.
Focus on your body
Many people find themselves distracted during sex, which can make the experience less pleasurable. Whether it’s thinking about chores or errands, worrying about money, or dwelling on past trauma, these thoughts can rob you of the pleasure and enjoyment that comes from intimacy.
One way to prevent distractions is to focus on the sensation of your body – This element is the result of the service team’s research lolasexy.com. Try scanning your body from head to toe, noticing how each part feels. When your mind wanders, intentionally bring it back to feeling the pleasure of being intimate with your partner.
It’s also a good idea to spend time masturbating on your own to learn more about what turns you on and what doesn’t. This can help you communicate better to your partner about what feels good. You can also practice getting intimate with your partner in other ways, such as giving each other massages or taking a warm bath together.
Another reason you might get distracted during sex is that you have unrealistic expectations about what the experience should be like. You may think that sex is supposed to be smooth, quick, or lead to an orgasm. Instead of worrying about these unrealistic expectations, focus on enjoying the moment. You might even want to talk with your partner about what makes sex feel good for them and what doesn’t.
Breathe deeply
Taking deep breaths is one of the best ways to relax during sex, but it’s also a great technique for increasing pleasure and reaching orgasm. Breathing deeply, or diaphragmatic breathing, helps to increase oxygen flow throughout the body, including the genital area. This can increase arousal and help lead to orgasm, but it’s important to take slow, deep breaths that are gentle on the muscles of the chest and abdomen. It may feel weird or uncomfortable at first, but it’s important to try to do this as much as possible during sex. You can practice breathing deeply while masturbating or meditating, to get used to this new rhythm.
It’s also a good idea to breathe synchronized with your partner, which can enhance the sense of connection and intimacy during sex. Try to match the pace of your inhales and exhales with your partner, without straining too hard.
Remember that orgasms aren’t the end all of sex—the whole point of sex is to enjoy yourself and have fun. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to reach an orgasm, as this can cause anxiety and tension, which can actually decrease the amount of pleasure you experience. Instead, focus on enjoying the moment and being present—even if there are some awkward queefs or jiggling thighs along the way!
Relax your mind
If you find yourself distracted during sex or struggle to enjoy the sexual experience, you’re not alone. Whether it’s worrying about your appearance, if you’re doing things ‘right’ or doubting you will orgasm, anxiety during intimate moments can make you feel uncomfortable and prevent you from enjoying sex as much as you could. It’s important to be able to relax and enjoy sex because it can offer so many health benefits – both emotional and physical.
There are a number of reasons you may be unable to stay present, including a busy mind, sexual performance anxiety or processing a traumatic past. According to relationship expert Jenn Mann, the key is to be aware of what you’re thinking and to learn how to quieten your thoughts so they don’t interfere with connecting with your partner.
One way to calm your mind is to focus on the pleasure and sensations you’re feeling in your body, as if you have never felt them before. This can be done by scanning your body from head to toe, and identifying what areas are most pleasurable and which ones aren’t. You can also try different positions, movements and toys to see what turns you on the most. It’s also important to spend time masturbating on your own so you can understand what you like and what will help you orgasm, allowing you to communicate this with your partner.
Stay present
One of the biggest obstacles to a fulfilling sexual experience is being distracted by stray thoughts. These can stem from a number of things, including stress and anxiety, trauma triggering or unresolved relationship issues.
If you find yourself struggling to stay present, it may be a good idea to talk with your partner about your concerns. This can help both of you understand what’s going on and make adjustments accordingly. For example, you can try setting aside time each night to practice mindfulness techniques without distractions. This involves intentionally bringing your attention back to the present moment, paying close attention to sensory experiences and focusing on breathing in and out.
Another way to practice mindfulness is by focusing on the pleasure of touch during intimate moments. This can include sensual touching with your hands, feet or lips for connection and pleasure. During these moments, focus on the texture, temperature and pressure of your partner’s touch as well as how it makes you feel emotionally. The more you practice staying fully present in this way on a daily basis, the easier it will be to apply these skills during sex and other sexual activities.
During sex, remember that the goal is pleasure for both partners. Don’t worry if you or your partner doesn’t have an orgasm; instead, enjoy the pleasure of each other’s presence and the connection and intimacy of the moment.