There’s a misperception that as you get older, your sex drive goes down or stops altogether. But in reality, most people 50-59 are happy with their sex lives.
Those who aren’t may be dealing with the challenges of perimenopause. Here are a few tips to help you stay active in the bedroom: 1. Nurture your desire.
1. Take time to nurture your desire
Having a partner who shows appreciation for you sexually can be an esteem booster at any age. Feeling desirable can help you cope with stress and promote healthier sleep habits. Sexual activity may also help you maintain an active mind. Research by Carnegie Mellon University found that couples who regularly have sex in their 50s report greater happiness than those who don’t. However, if you have health issues like erectile dysfunction, that may hinder your desire for sex. Luckily, there are solutions to this problem such as ED tablets that can be prescribed by your doctor.
It’s normal for women to experience a lull in libido around menopause, but it isn’t permanent. If you find your desire has waned, try foreplay or arousal techniques such as slow stroking to increase intimacy and sensation. There are also products that can stimulate the body, such as Dame Products’ Awaken Arousal Oil, to increase orgasms and boost pleasure.
Just remember, being of a certain age doesn’t protect you from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Always practice safe sex and discuss sexually transmitted disease prevention with your partner, especially if you’re starting a new relationship or aren’t monogamous. You can even talk to a urologist about your needs and expectations for your intimate life. They’re experts in this area and can offer you valuable information to help you.
2. Be yourself
Embrace your new realities and have fun with them. During the ages of perimenopause and menopause, many women find they have more freedom to explore their sexual desires than they did when they were younger, without having to worry about child-rearing or work. Use this time to experiment with sexual positions that feel good for you, taking your changing needs and abilities into consideration. Playfulness is important for any sex relationship, but it can be particularly helpful for older adults. Tease and tickle your partner to help both of you relax and have some fun.
Despite popular misconceptions, your libido can actually get better with age, not worse. In fact, 57% of people who are over 50 say their sex life is as exciting now as it was when they were younger, with many citing lower inhibitions as the reason.
Remember that no matter your age, safe sex is key. Even if you and your partner are not planning on having children, there’s always the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases, and using condoms can protect you from them. If you are in a new relationship, it’s a good idea to talk about your expectations of monogamy and how you plan to use protection before starting any physical intimacy. Practicing safe sex is also an excellent way to build trust and respect between you and your partner.
3. Practice safe sex
Despite stereotypes of what older adults do with their free time, many seniors are up for more racier activities than you might think — like sex. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
It’s important to practice safe sex, however, regardless of your age. Although sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are less common in older people than in younger ones, it’s still possible for them to develop. Use condoms and lubricant, and be sure to get tested for STDs regularly.
For women who are going through menopause or have been abstinent for a long period of time, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor about getting a vaginal dilator. This can help you have a more comfortable sex experience and reduce the risk of pain and itching.
Even though sex may feel different after 50, it’s important to remember that it is still a powerful emotional and physical experience, and it can also be an important way to maintain your physical health and stay mentally active. With the right precautions, it’s likely that you will find sex in your golden years to be just as pleasurable as when you were younger. This is especially true if you’re open to trying new things and are willing to let your desires evolve with the changes that come with aging.
4. Make friends
It’s not uncommon for women to experience a lull in libido around the time of menopause. However, the good news is that this lull often isn’t permanent and can be overcome with some creativity. For example, it may help to use different lubricants or toys and try new positions that are comfortable for your body. If you find that certain medical issues are limiting your sexual pleasure, it’s important to communicate with your doctor about your concerns and how they might be addressed.
As for making friends, a smile can go a long way in helping you become more approachable to others, no matter your age. As UCLA neuroscientist Marco Iacoboni explains in an interview with Scientific American, smiling activates the part of your brain that is associated with positive emotions. So the next time you’re meeting a potential date or friend, try to put a big smile on your face.
As the naysayers among us continue to shout from the rooftops, it is possible to have great sex after 50. It’s just a matter of taking some time to nurture desire, communicating about sexual and intimate concerns with your partner, and practicing safe sex. With a little effort, you can be enjoying some of the best sexual experiences of your life when you hit 60, 70 and even 80.