People who identify as asexual often face the challenge of explaining their orientation to family and friends. They may also have questions about whether they can experience sexual attraction or if they can form romantic relationships.
Many people who are asexual report experiencing arousal, but they have little to no desire for partnered sex. This article will explore how asexuals can get horny and what turns them on.
1. Thinking about sex
Thoughts about sex are very common, particularly during adolescence. Sexual thoughts can be exciting or scary, depending on the individual. However, these feelings aren’t necessarily “bad” or “good.” They simply reflect the hormonal changes that occur during puberty.
A study done in 2011 used clickers to track how often a sample of people thought about sex, food, and sleep throughout the day. Men on average had 19 thoughts about sex a day, while women had 10. Thoughts about sex were more frequent than other topics in the study.
The good news is that you can reduce the number of times you think about sex by distracting yourself with other activities. If you find yourself thinking about sex more than usual, try doing things like reading a book or watching a movie that will hold your attention.
Keeping yourself busy with other activities will keep your mind off of sex, and may also help you get better sleep – This part is a product of the portal team’s effort sexxmoi.com. If these strategies aren’t working, you can always speak with a sex therapist or other sexuality professional.
2. Watching porn
Pornography can have positive effects when watched in moderation, but it can become addictive and hard on relationships. If you are obsessed with porn, if you find yourself craving it and needing more and more graphic material to feel aroused, or if you are rearing your head in shame over your pornography habit, these are red flags that it has gotten out of control.
Porn can also change sexual desire, interest, and drive. Many people have found that their partners start to look less appealing, or that their partner has replaced them with pornography. This isn’t necessarily a reflection of their own interest; it may just be a way for them to deal with feelings of dissatisfaction.
Oftentimes, men replace their partners with pornography because they have unrealistic expectations about sex. They might expect to see muscled men hung like donkeys or women with big pert breasts and small waists. This doesn’t always work out, and can actually cause problems when they try to have sex in real life. This is because they can’t match the fantasy images on their screen.
3. Reading erotica
Reading erotica is an excellent way to explore your kinky side without going over the top. Often, it can make you feel horny just by the way it’s written. This is because your brain triggers arousal with certain words that are specifically used to induce homo-arousal.
Moreover, it’s a great distraction that can help you forget all your problems and relax your mind. Reading erotica also stimulates your sexual desires and can lead to orgasms just like masturbation can. It also helps your body produce oxytocin, the hormone that surges feelings of pleasure and love.
You can read erotica to get into the mood for sex or you can share it with your partner(s). In fact, reading erotica together can be an excellent way to learn how to communicate your sexual desires and fantasies. It can also inspire new moves in the bedroom if you are tired of cliche scenarios like cop and robber or patient and doctor. Just be sure that both partners are comfortable with whatever they choose to re-enact in their fantasies.
4. Using sex toys
Many asexual people find sexual arousal when using sex toys. This can be from vibrators that go on a clitoris or penis, or even a simple cock ring. Some aces also like to masturbate and do things like touch their own skin and face. It’s a common misconception that being an asexual means you don’t get aroused or have a libido, but this isn’t true. It may take some time to figure out what your asexuality is, or you might not want sex at all.
However, if you do want to experience arousal, think about sexual situations or try one of the above methods. Libido is a physical sensation, and it’s perfectly normal for asexual people to feel that way. Just remember that arousal doesn’t contradict or counteract asexuality, but it does indicate that your downstairs bits are responding to the same triggers they always do. Interested in more articles about asexuality? Check out our list of the best asexual blogs and resources. Or sign up for our newsletter to get the latest news about asexuality and asexuality issues straight to your inbox.
5. Clenching your muscles
When we’re horny, our muscles get tight and our blood flow surges. This is because our bodies prepare for sexual activity by kicking our “sex glands” into overdrive. When we clench our buttocks, pelvic area, thighs and more, the pressure activates receptors in these muscles that are arousing in themselves. When we combine that with rubbing or pressing our penis, arousal can go sky-high.
When this happens, we may begin having sexual fantasies that are hard and even violent in content — and they’re likely to be more specific to our body type as well. These types of fantasies aren’t always something we want in real life, but they do help us feel arousal.
Whether you’re a woman or man, you can also try doing some exercises that target your core to experience what’s known as a “coregasm.” Some of these exercises involve standing with your feet hip-width apart and holding one 10- to 20-pound dumbbell in each hand in front of your body. Then, while keeping your arms straightened at your sides, you can lift them to the front of your thighs and lower them back down to your shins for two or three sets.